Conan the Barbarian (2011)
Pssst, want to check out Conan the Barbarian in our new look?
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Nice year for Jason Momoa in 2011 with high profile, high grade paying gigs. It's not like he has played this type of character before so he could snooze his way through the movie... *cough*Khal Drogo/Game Of Thrones*cough*Ronon Dex/Stargate Atlantis*cough*
Holy hell what a stink-fest. I should have listened to my instincts and just avoided this turd all together, but my curiosity got the better of me.
Game Of Thrones (Khal Drogo anyone?) meets Xena (generic Xena villain in pimped/gothed up Xena-ish environs) meets Dune (sand sand sand, and a Bene Gesserit witch), wrapped in a horrible soundtrack and raped by the worst script yet, this decade.
The fight scenes go on and on, they take up way to much time and aren't even interesting or conducive to the plot. To be fair, fights seldom advance plots. But when we don't even want to see them and they just go on forever? I interpret this as trying to compensate for a farked up script with meaningless time sink fights so the movie won't end after 45 minutes.
Don't forget the the most meaningless and useless filler supporting characters ever; like the thief Alibaba or whatever the fark his name was, and the black ship captain...
Basically everything sucked, period. I expected epic suckage, and boy did it deliver...
This is one of the worst movies I have ever seen.
I've become spoiled by the incredible "Conan" comics published by Dark Horse (and based closely on the Robert E. Howard stories) that I was hoping for a resurgence in the Conan franchise. Unfortunately, there was really no way this movie could have lived up to my expectations, nor escape from the shadow of the first two movies. It seemed like the filmmakers couldn't make up their minds whether to make it gritty and grim like the 1982 original "Conan the Barbarian" or light-hearted and silly like the watered-down sequel, "Conan the Destroyer".
to see which of your friends have seen this movie!