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Slow and turgid for most of the running time, with characters giving long infodump speeches that seemed to introduce a new alien term in every line. The film only really gets into gear about 30 minutes from the end with some fun action scenes, but by then it's too little too late.
Dial down your expectations and leave your brain at the door, then enjoy this movie. It looks great and entertains well. It was absolutely watchable, and if you can suffer the many, many flaws, you'll have a pleasant 2 hours ahead of you.
Beware; the mushy mess about the wedding just takes up waay too much time and gets really annoying, and the whole Disney hero-marries-princess-lives-happily-ever-after is just... gnnnarrghh! WHY... aw feck it. It's Disney, just bend over and love it.
John Carter's lack of success at the box office must have a lot to do with marketing (the title, for example, is terrible), because I thoroughly enjoyed its mixture of SF and fantasy, and while I know there are some important differences from Edgar Rice Burrough's book, there are very weird and wonderful things that could only have been spawned in the novels. Director Andrew Stanton's animation background is both a quality and a flaw, breathing real emotion into the CG characters, but also giving them a slightly cartoony look. But that's a minor complaint because the hero's journey is well done, the characters engaging, Utah-as-Mars impressive, and the action scenes exciting. I was particularly impressed by the editing, used for both comic and tragic effect to perfection. Big effects spectaculars often have a soporific effect on me, but not John Carter.
to see which of your friends have seen this movie!