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fonz

-The prequel to The Lobster that you didn't know you needed.

-If you can stomach the opening frame, you know damn well that this movie is for you.

-Colin Farrell solves trolley problem.

These are one-liners I came up with whilst letting Yorgos Lanthimos latest opus experience me.
3 years ago
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fonz

See this scored live by SQÜRL (Jim Jarmusch and Carter Logan) is the way to go.
3 years ago
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fonz

Meh-erowitz
3 years 1 month ago
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fonz

Holy fucking shit. I was in like during the opening credits, then I fell in love about halfway through, and when TV on the Radio came on over the end credits I just about started crying.
3 years 1 month ago
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fonz

Sir Ridley Scott: Harry, I need you to be in my new Blade Runner movie.
Harrison Ford: Are you directing?
Sir Ridley Scott: I'm thinking about it.
Harrison Ford: Don't.
Sir Ridley Scott: Okay. i won't direct, I'll produce. Now can you please be in my movie?
Harrison Ford: Under two conditions.
Sir Ridley Scott: Name it.
Harrison Ford: One. I wear what I'm wearing now.

Sir Ridley Scott looks over Harrison Ford, who is dressed like he's going to work on his boat.

Sir Ridley Scott: Fine.
Harrison Ford: Two. I bring my dog.
Sir Ridley Scott: Sure.
Harrison Ford: Three.
Sir Ridley Scott: You said two conditions.
Harrison Ford: Three. You name the bad guy after my dog, Niander Wallace.
Sir Ridley Scott: The script's already written!
Harrison Ford: Four. You give me all the Jimmy Walker Black I can handle.
Sir Ridley Scott: Anything else?
Harrison Ford: I'll let you know.
3 years 1 month ago
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fonz

I think that Ridley Scott just hates humanity. The killer android is the most sympathetic character as well as being the most developed.

As a standalone movie you don't need to see any of the others to really follow the action, but it certainly helps to have a frame of reference for what this world is. The prologue before everyone goes into cryosleep should be added back in as it provides a vital foundation for who the human characters are. As it is, James Franco dies without having a single line and it means absolutely nothing to the story. The same goes for when all the other cardboards get picked off one by one.
3 years 6 months ago
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fonz

Where was the fucking dancing?

Nothing short of a masterpiece though. The art direction is impeccable.
3 years 6 months ago
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fonz

A low hanging fruit of riffing. Watch it with an open mind and have some laughs.
3 years 6 months ago
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fonz

Midnight Special with more blood and less Adam Driver.
3 years 7 months ago
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fonz

What a slog
3 years 7 months ago
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fonz

Laughter, laughter, laughter, "I can't feel my legs", "You have cancer", laughter, laughter, sadness, laughter. It's like The Room but with ABBA and better acting, directing, writing and pretty much everything that makes a good movie.
3 years 7 months ago
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fonz

Too much meandering for my taste but then again I'll need a re-watch before I can properly digest everything.
3 years 8 months ago
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fonz

An interesting premise with an execution that mostly hits the mark until the hand-holding moment at the end when the audience is spoon-fed the explanation for everything that has been going on.
3 years 8 months ago
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fonz

A career-minded military woman tries to rebuild her life after being snubbed by James Bond's rubber screwdriver. She recruits a small team of rejected ex-military experiments, including the Thing, Nightcrawler, the Invisible Woman, and the Incredible Were-Bear Hulk. The team quickly comes together without any resistance and is eager to cooperate on their first mission despite being a few decades out of practice. Fortunately, their lives as a monastic, a desert sage, a hermit and circus acrobat have provided enough training to prepare them for modern urban combat.

As Bane, with the powers of Col. Volgin and wonderfully played by the late great Robert Z'Dar, captures three-quarters of the team and breaks the back of Monastic Thing, 007's jilted lover amounts a rescue operation that is quite literally a walk in the (industrial) park. With the team in the dumps after their disastrous first mission was a complete disaster, Xenia Onabottom patiently listens to each character's backstory as she slowly sheds her military wardrobe for one that is more befitting of a career woman with real human emotion.

Armed with some tight-fitting leather and supported by a secret military program staffed entirely by recent college graduates and good-looking interns, Xenia and the Fantastic Fourmer Soviet Union are ready to take on Z'Dar-Bane as he launches the next step of his master plan: taking over Sputnik. The team narrows down the bad guy's location to the most expendable part of modern Moscow--Moscow City. Harnessing their power into one unified ball of pure orgasmic energy, the team collapses into a cuddle puddle while Z'Bane collapses to his doom along with the rest of the skyscrapers representing Russia's attempt at capitalism.

Like all great teams that work so well together, everyone decides to part ways while the Bond Girl wannabe winks at the camera in a not-so-subtle way as if to say now that she has real human feelings she can finally date the British super-spy of her dreams.
3 years 9 months ago
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fonz

Even knowing Scorsese's history, it's hard to view this as anything other than an anti-religion film. We kill one another over what boils down to the same belief with just slightly different interpretations of a long dead holy man. Even as a mirror to our own modern world full of killing and religious persecution, this film failed to offer anything new nor any solution beyond the wisdom of taking the path of least resistance where those around you don't suffer for your pride.
3 years 10 months ago
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fonz

In my quest to be the most hipster of my friends, this was one of the best blind buys at a second hand store I have ever had. At the time of this writing, I am only the 11th person to have seen this small little gem on this site. As others have hinted, this movie is uneven and the parts don't quite add up to a satisfying whole. Perhaps the most interesting review could be the only long-form English found on the back of the DVD case by a 'Ross Anthony':

quote:
"Owl's Castle" saturates the white screen with rich color. The hues so intense, you can almost taste them. The feel of the motion across the screen suggests some medium other than film. Though, I have no inside information on this, I suspect many of the sequences where partially or entirely filmed on high quality digital tape. This is not at all a criticism. Digital cinema is more or less inevitable, film stock being so expensive to purchase, duplicate and distribute.

Unfortunately, the feel color and texture of the picture, where perhaps it's most redeeming qualities. The plot...a group of Ninja watch their town get destroyed and ten years later seek revenge, is complicated a bit by politics.

Interestingly, Shinoda brings a kind of 1970's American-Western feel to the film with it's staleness and Japanese traditional music punctuated with a 20th century classical score. The beginning is enticing and the climax nearly wonderful. I enjoyed the idea of the heartless Ninja, so committed mission that he's lost a sense of himself and cannot even love.


Like I said, this is the movie for film hipsters to love and discover now before the rest of masses proclaim its brilliance.
3 years 11 months ago
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fonz

Mostly painful
4 years ago
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fonz

Pretty painful to watch.
4 years ago
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fonz

With his love of PBR, fondness for bolo ties and adoration of vintage pop songs, Frank Booth is the prototype for the modern hipster. One might say he is the Original Hipster.
4 years ago
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fonz

I got nothing to say.
4 years ago
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fonz

Michael Gambon plays the most loathsome brute ever depicted on celluloid to absolute perfection.

The Cook = Planet Earth
The Thief = Donald Trump
His Wife = Trump Supporters
Her Lover = Anyone that is not a white American male over the age of 45
4 years ago
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fonz

The moment "I Believe I Can Fly" comes on, a pang of nostalgia erases whatever plot holes I was going to expose through this review. Best biopic ever!
4 years ago
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fonz

Perfect.

To me cinema should at times transport you to another world, one that is different from your own. As a straight white male living among sickening displays of white privilege, this film is as removed from my personal experience as it can possibly be yet that did not stop me from being completely absorbed by the universal theme that life is a journey of self-discovery. See this because it is well-acted and the world needs more stories like this rather than white-washed fan-boy crap.

(The acting from the entire cast deserves a shout-out because it certainly is the finest exhibition I have seen all year)
4 years ago
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fonz

I have avoided watching these movies for 15 years as I really wanted to wait until the hype went down. The fantasy genre, especially medieval set, is not my bag. I am probably the only person in my social circle that does not watch Game of Thrones (I've watched a few eps, not my jazz). I pretty much tuned out of the story early on and simply enjoyed the flawless direction and art design. However, I'd rather go for a hike than spend three hours watching people walk through gorgeous landscapes. It is an achievement, but one that matters very little to me.
4 years ago
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fonz

My first time seeing the whole thing proper and not just a few scenes in passing as I flick the channels. I must have first caught a glimpse of Freddy around the age of eight which literally frightened the shit into me. I was scared to go potty for a week because I thought that someone in the boiler room was gonna pull me through the toilet. Now my biggest concern are bombs rigged underneath the porcelain.
4 years 1 month ago

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