Pssst, want to check out Colombiana in our new look?
Information
- Year
- 2011
- Runtime
- 108 min.
- Director
- Olivier Megaton
- Genres
- Action, Crime, Drama
- Rating *
- 6.4
- Votes *
- 64,847
- Checks
- 3,501
- Favs
- 87
- Dislikes
- 98
- Favs/checks
- 2.5% (1:40)
- Favs/dislikes
- 1:1
Top comments
-
TheLazy1
I thought this was rock solid entertainment. Do not understand the universal hate for this movie. 12 years 6 months ago -
dombrewer
I can't believe some of the comments I'm reading. It's definitely not worth watching... in fact it's utterly inept and probably one of the stupidest big budget action films I've ever seen.
The sheer idiocy of the virtually every aspect of this film and the bizarre actions of the characters mean you would actually have to not care at all about anything other than ADD editing, explosions and slow motion bullets to enjoy it. Every moment is designed only for effect regardless of the actual stupidity of what you're watching.
It seems pointless going into more detail, but as I sat through it and you really shouldn't, here are a few choice and amusing examples... Spoilers ahead... (but, honestly, so what, you can't spoil a turd....)
A little girl vomits a small SD card onto an official's desk which instantly transforms into a floppy disk for him to put into his 90s desktop computer....
It's possible to open a prison door with a hairpin...
You can get released from prison the morning after you've drunkenly smashed a police car if you have a fake library card and a wig - the police won't take your photo though, just your fingerprints...
Two hungry sharks won't dismember a bleeding man in the water, just bite him a bit till he dies and leave him floating where he fell. The photo that appears in the paper the next day will somehow be from twenty feet above his floating corpse...
It's a far better idea to smash your truck through your own gates than open them first...
A SWAT team will blow up an apartment door producing a huge fireball that decimates the corridor when they could just as easily (not to mention quickly or realistically) smash it open...
An exceptional assassin capable of hunting and killing 22 people connected to a Columbian crime boss is somehow not able to trace the man she actually wants... That crime boss also doesn't seem to notice that 22 of his connections have all been taken out and drawn on until a dodgy CIA agent shows him a newspaper...
According to the FBI an assassin drawing on men with lipstick couldn't possibly be a woman...
A rocket launched missile can destroy all the furniture in a villa but not kill anybody inside....
You can train dogs fed on steak to kill a man by saying the word "eat" down a mobile phone to them...
A man closely connected to the assassin and who receives a phone call from her while under interrogation is immediately allowed to leave the police station after she hangs up...
Anyway. I don't understand why Luc Besson is so obsessed with the idea of a girl growing up to be an assassin - he did it well in "Nikita", and even better in "Leon" - the third time he's not so lucky - his embarrassingly poor screenplay, in the hands of the director of Transporter 3, a man actually called Megaton, seems appropriate as this film is a total bomb.
I feel a bit better now. 11 years 8 months ago -
Cuadie
Absolutely horrible (and normally, I love this kind of movies). I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. 12 years 4 months ago