You Hurt My Feelings (2023)

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Nicole Holofcener's exploration of the white lie in You Hurt My Feelings stars Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Tobias Menzies as a surprisingly cute couple tested when she (a struggling novelist) discovers he (a struggling therapist) doesn't like her writing despite always fawning over it. This is the crisis point for them, but it's not the film's true focus and certain audiences may get impatient waiting for the trailer-promised moment. It's rather more about about what constitutes dishonesty, and how both ends of the honesty spectrum can be good or bad depending on intent and situation. We get this through an accumulation of moments between the protagonists and their family and professional interactions. My own conclusion isn't so much that it's okay to lie to spare someone's feelings (and it's not the film's either), but rather that people tell white lies because they are conflict-adverse. We lie to avoid awkward situations, mostly. But in this amusing, yet emotional (I think Louis-Dreyfus in particular is incredibly strong) dramady, Holofcener is keen to show that not all honesty is brutal, nor every white lie benign. There is a toll to pay either way. 1 month 1 week ago